By my side...

After all... I still want to write here, and not only bad things also good things.. But to be honest my inspiration comes always from bad thoughts... I don't even know what's the problem, there is no real problem, only bad thoughts that sometimes come to me. My boyfriend made me a very good point a couple of days ago...If in the world there would be more trust maybe things could be better. Maybe is true and it would be nice if it could be possible. But I'm struggling, I don't think I'm getting any good trusting more in people... I still trusting only myself. I feel like I'm dreaming a dream alone... Literally alone and it hurts sometime, especially whenever I realize it. Is there anybody who trusts in my ambitions and my qualities? They just look at me like a poor dreamer... I don't even know if that dream will end one day... I just know that I won't stop dreaming and more than everything, smiling. My reason to smile today is living... and hope. The hope that my dreams will become true and maybe if not all of them just some or at least one. And if none of them will be realized I can die without the regret of not having dreamt before. There is a line in the middle...Between real life and dreams, the challenge is to get there. Now, some people get there and others not. That's it. I want to try, I'm not going to give up just because the fashion of today is to be cynical as much as possible. Don't care.

What else? Oh yes...Can you believe that I'm scared to be too happy?

Every time I feel so happy, suddenly I feel so scared. I feel like something it has to be wrong, it is impossible that I'm actually happy. Why is this? Why can't I just feeling my happiness without any worries? Why?

I'll be fine.

I hope.

V